HAPPY DIWALI HAPPY DIWALI HAPPY DIWALI (nacho!!wwoohhooo!!) 

And you cannot imagine how thrilled I am throughout the year for this festival. You remember the time in school we all wrote an essay about ‘My Favourite Festival’???  and if it happened to be Diwali then the first line of the essay would always be, ‘Diwali is the festival of lights’(or was I the only stupid bum who wrote such things?). Nevermind…

Need I tell you how fun Diwali is? Need I? I mean come on, look around you. Houses are lit up (it is the only time parents don’t use their ‘Light kyu on hai? Diwali hai kya?’ dialogue). We can hop all around our as well as our friend’s society and do the most amazing thing called- blowing up every sane person’s ear drums with the noisiest fire crackers. We can do a little stunts infront of our crushes such as lighting up a cracker on the hand and show how much guts we’ve got. We can go to our relatives place and have samosa, chivda, chakli, ladoos, falan dimkana; basically  ‘Ghee (oil/tel) mein dubee hui laash’ type of food. 

Guys, let’s just peep in and see how your Diwali is different than mine or is it relatable. Lehh go…

1.     CRACK HEADS: 

I am not against bursting crackers but there’s this one dude who has destroyed my love for them. This guy apparently wakes up early in the morning and sets out the longest chain of those ugly red chilly crackers. Why? Why? Why would you do that to anybody!? Why would you disturb anybody’s beauty sleep?  And then there is a different set of crazy dudes who burns the crackers on their hands; I mean wow ! ‘Yeh dekh..aab tera bhai bomb lagayega..’ And mind you, this is the case with every guy! I cannot understand what joy it brings to you men in proving how much guts you’ve got? Just be safe okay ?! please!

2.     MANDATORY MESSAGES AND PHONE CALLS:

Mostly, Diwali is the only time when we send a courtesy message to even our enemies. And don’t even get me started on those WhatsApp forwards. My parents are so obsessed with wishing each and every relative, friend or colleague of theirs that they’d legit google the Diwali images, download them and forward to every person on their contact list. ‘Deepawali chya hardik shubhecha bara ka!’ 

    I kid you not I have got only 19 w’app contacts, I am so bored to even type a diwali message in return that I send voice notes to every person. Why? I like to annoy people whom I love. Jk, I am the laziest person on this planet.

3.     UNNECESSARY GIFTS:

Okay, gifts can never be bad but then there is a special time for gifting someone a crockery set, 10 kilo dry fruits, thousands of handmade chocolates and that is.. guess? Sahi pakde hai!.. DIWALI. Do all of us a favour, put some cash in an envelope and there we go.. best diwali gift ever is ready! As simple as that! Sorry but I’d prefer that envelope than the most useless gifts which Mumma would be like.. ‘Oh I am keeping this and will not use for like 20 years but it’s cute so yeah!..’

4.     RANGOLIS AND DIYAS/DIAS (sorry I have dyslexia):

Sshhhhh!! Don’t tell anyone okay? Pinky promise? – I was the kid who spoiled rangolis of the house next to mine. I was the kid who used to blow out diyas/dias of the house next to mine (and then mentally sing happy birthday to me. Does that make me a bad person? Sorry *puppy face*). Let’s just all be true to ourselves and accept the fact that we have a split personality within ourselves which tempts us to be evil and make us do all stuff which the good soul doesn’t approve of.

5.     FOOD, NEW CLOTHES AND RELATIVES:

A.    I belong to a Maharashtrian household and I do not get this that why my mom, my aunts, my other maharashtrian friends moms are so obsessed with the ‘DIWALI CHA FARAL’ (For those who aren’t maharashtrian – Faral is the food we make such as: chakli, ladoos,chivda, karanji etc). I am that kind of person who is all thrilled to taste the faral when it’s in the process of making and would go straight to the kitchen to steal a rava ladoo, (it’s my fav I can kill anybody for it) and then Mumma would be like ‘no no we have to keep this for bhagwan ka prasad, have it later’. Then there is segregation of the faral, ‘this is for Archu maushi, this is for mothi aai, this is for Dandekar kaki and that is for…’ the list is endless! And I sit there like- Toh mai kab khau !!??

B.     I love going to malls. Clothes, bags, shoes, movie theater, food court, gift shop- all under one roof (hey there Mr.Boyfriend, dropping hints). The second best thing after the ‘food court’ is the clothes! I love it! I go crazy when I see a beautiful dress, which would fit me precisely, I’d look ravishing, click a zillion selfies but then.. money bro. ‘I SWEAR I DON’T HAVE ANYTHING TO WEAR’, is my cry and then parents are a little extra giving on Diwali like – jaa beta jee le apni zindagi, so why not.. shop a little? 

C.     ‘Haaji.. aaj kal har jaghe politics ho raha hai, kya kar sakte hai!?’- Uncles To my Dad. ‘Aare.. I know her very well, her husband is spending money like water on her, nai tar aamche hey! ekach saree ghetli Rs.10,000 chi’ – Aunts to my Mumma. ‘Bhaiya zara meri ek acchi picture kheechdo, candid lena ha’ – Me to any random cousin. (haha jauukss).

And that’s a wrap for today hope you like it. A little news for those who love to read my blog: 

A.    Nothing much, was just thinking about posting on Facebook too the next time I write something. Is it worth a thought?

B.     DO NOT DO STUNTS AND BURN YOURSELF UP. Have a safe Diwali with your items (don’t lit a pataka, date one). Me- *laughs pett pakadke* 

C.     HAPPIESSSSTTTTTT DIIIIWAALLLIIIIIIII uummaahhh!! Go nuts and wish everybody until they say-  bas kar Such-a- Bliss!